I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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