the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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