Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
