the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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