So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
