the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
