it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
