I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
