We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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