I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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