The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Never joke about your clitoris.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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