Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
