I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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