Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize