Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
