so that wasnt chicken after all
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
