I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Help. Why am I so naked?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
