Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish i was in the wii world.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
