Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
