okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
