Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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