Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
