i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
