You just made me feel so damn special
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
