oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
