your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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