so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
