toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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