Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
