I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
