Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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