SEEEEXXX PLEASE
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
