dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
