i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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