Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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