i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
