His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
