This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
