oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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