They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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