It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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