This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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