I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
