matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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