i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
