Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
