i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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