I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
