When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
