I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
