ugly people sure do ruin things
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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