ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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