He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We left the knife in your bed.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
