the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Randomize