the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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