I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
