so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
