all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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