dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
