Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
